Techno-babble

And now I will wax eloquent about the various and sundry technologies that rule my life.

1. MacBook Pro I was a devoted PC user until a year and half ago, when I realized how stupid my PC (named Stanley) was and decided a change was in order. Now I am the proud owner of a beautiful, shiny MacBook Pro laptop and I will never go back. Apple owns my soul. It bought my soul on credit, paid off all the payments and transferred the Title. And now I love Rodney (the MacBook Pro) more than any other technological item I own. So thanks, Apple, for treating my soul so nicely.

2. The Cell Phone How is it that I managed to survive life without a cell phone and now feel paranoid if, halfway through running errands, I realize I inadvertently left it sitting on my coffee table? I should be able to leave my dwelling without my cell phone, but it makes me nervous. I just know that the one time I don't have the phone with me will be the one time I have car trouble or see an accident or get kidnapped. So thank you, cell phone manufacturers, for making me dependent on communication no matter where I am.

3. iPod I may have one of the oldest iPods possible and it may be backwards in its sizing (small in storage, ginormous in physical size), but I couldn't love Charlie (the iPod) more. All of my music conveniently in one place for easy listening (but not necessarily for easy listening music). People may say the Zen or the Zune or some other appropriately Z-named device trumps the iPod, but I say those people are nuts. Like I said in item 1, Apple owns my soul. So thank you, Apple, for creating the mp3 player and getting that iPod hookup as standard in all cars.

4. Chi The Chi is the most amazing tool to hit hair care since shampoo and conditioner. Hot enough to be scary and expensive enough to seriously dent the average librarian's checking account, it packs a styling punch that is not be laughed at. My hair has never looked better since my cheap, old hair straightener bit the dust and I invested in a Chi. So thank you, Chi manufacturers, for helping me destroy my hair with extreme heat, one sweep of the flat iron at a time.

I could go on, but I'll stop.

My love for technology is so great that it cannot be textually rendered.